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The Boy Willy

November 6, 2008
09:15 AM

We had another re-union of workers of Dwyers Restaurant last night.
Even though the restaurant has now been closed since in June in 2004
we all still feel part of the same family and as soon as we sit down to table
the old slagging, the old memories make it feel like we were working
together only last week.

Declan Coughlan, chef and father of two boys, announced that his wife
Annette had started labour on the third child before he left home.
Annette is a nurse and a woman of wonderful calm who is used to running
the busy A&E section in Waterford’s Regional Hospital.
“Go on off and enjoy yourself” she said to Declan,
“I’ll call you when I need you”

We had a terrific night in Waterford’s Bodega, great food served with charm
by a talented young staff.
I think I was more anxious than Declan, telling him to check his phone every half hour or so.

We did let him in to the secret of Genetic Sexual Heredity as explained by
our friend Isabel.
Her theory is that some men are endowed with either Boy Willies
or Girl Willies, and these men have only single sex families.

This is a difficult one to prove but a random sample of the men around the
table proved her correct.
Pat, our waiter, has only girls, I am the father of three girls and young
Declan had, up to that moment, two boys.
I had to break the news to him there and then that the imminent arrival was
a boy.

At around 11.00, considerately, just as Declan had finished the last of
his coffee, the phone finally rang and Annette (very calmly) suggested
that the time had come for Declan’s return.

He rang me at 8.00 this morning and, I’m afraid that Isabel’s Great
Scientific Theory has been proved conclusively correct.
His first words to me were “Martin, she’s right I have a Boy Willy”
Connor Coughlan, the third son, had arrived in the early hours of the morning.

Welcome Connor and may you have a great life.

(But it will be interesting to conjecture whether these willies are hereditary)

Comments

  1. Chris O'Donovan

    on November 6, 2008

    Two boys and two girls .
    Avec le meme robinet……..Voila!(could be something in the water?)
    P.S.
    We tried pork steak stuffed with prunes etc last night, the bramley and grainy mustard puree is gorgeous too.

  2. declan and annette coughlan

    on November 6, 2008

    Yet again Martin your way with words has brought a tear to our eye. It was a great night with a great outcome. I suppose there’s no point in trying for a girl considering there is no doubt that I have a boy willy. See you soon love Declan,Annette,Eoin,Aaron and the new arrival baby Connor.

  3. Martin

    on November 6, 2008

    Mind you Dec, you missed a chance there, maybe you should have called the boy Willy!

  4. declan

    on November 6, 2008

    HA HA I like it

  5. isabel

    on November 10, 2008

    Albeit a flat earth scientist of some repute, I cannot take credit for the “Girl Willy” theory. Using the terms “She Willy and “He Willy” it was expounded to me by the late and much missed Kevin Dunne (www.kevindunnephotographer.com).
    In an obituary in The Dubliner magazine last December, Max Guinness acknowledged one of Kevin’s theories which became concrete (or rather, ceramic) “….his one known contribution to medical science was the “Phrenology Knob” – a fine porcelain model mapping the precise characteristics of each part of the male organ(“semenship”, “Onanism”, “philoprogenetiveness” etc.); the pictures are here. Like all great visionaries, he will not be around to experience true recognition of this landmark biological discovery.”

  6. Martin

    on November 10, 2008

    For the curious (but not easilt shockable) a reproduction of Kevin’s Phrenology Knob is available here:http://phrenologyknob.com/

The comments are closed.


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  Martin Dwyer
Consultant Chef