Ten things the French do not get (quite) right.

1. Tea: They never boil the water

2.Websites: Too pretty and unpractical and often with music-why?

3 Sliced pans: Too sweet.

4.Beef: Often too tough, in marked contrast to their excellent Lamb

5.Aperitif drinks: Again too sweet like Muscat or Pineau

6.Wholemeal Flour: They sieve out and discard the bran so it is just brown dust.

7.Middle budget clothing: Prices swoop from the supermarket to expensive boutiques.

8.Blackberries and Sloes : Not enough rain I’m afraid.

9. Breakfast: Top quality establishments will sometimes offer only bread and jam.

10. Driving: They always drive too goddam close behind me.

Ten things the French do better

1. Villages : Beautiful houses and churches untouched for years, all with something to offer.

2. Motorways : Expensive yes but with regular places to stop and usually clean toilets.

3. Fruit : Okay it is probably the climate but the Cherries, Peaches, Apricots Greengages* !

4. Wine : No contest

5. Aperitif Nibbles :Tasty olive and anchovy bits rather than crisps and nuts.

6. Old People: Live at home if possible and are walked to the baker each morning.

7. Weather: I know Ireland tried this summer but still, no contest.

8. Lunch: Good three course Prix Fixe can still be found for under €15.00

9. Second Hand Stuff : Brocantes, Trocantes, Vide Greniers, Puces.

10.Mushrooms: The fact that you can get these checked out at the chemist is a winner.

*and figs.