This was a talk I gave in the library here in Ardkeen at their request, tonight.
It was supposed to be “How to survive Christmas (in the kitchen)” but of course I couldn’t let it at that and had to offer in a brief history of Irish Christmas Foods and a chunk of Joyce as well.

Here it is as it is given.
As I also offered these good people a guide to the Christmas Recipes in my website I include that at the end for value.

How we celebrate Christmas and particularly Christmas Foods have very little to do with the Christian tradition
December feasts were common in Europe because it was necessary to slaughter cattle that could not be fed during the winter and because the meat could be preserved by the cold weather. It is from this tradition of preserving in spices that we get the tradition of Plum Pudding, Mince Meat, and our own Spiced Beef.
With the completion of the harvest and snow on the ground, farmers were loaded with provisions. There was not much work that could be done, so there was time to relax, to feast, to celebrate and to engage in social activities.

Midwinter sun festivals were celebrated in ancient Ireland Britain & Scandinavia.
Note how we celebrated the winter solstice in Newgrange tomb in Megalithic times.
In Germanic & Scandinavian countries a huge log was carried into the house to serve as the foundation for holiday fires. The Yule log at Yuletide would burn for twelve days, and a different sacrifice would be made on each of the twelve days. Lighted candles and winter fires were used by sun-worshippers to encourage the rebirth of the Sun. Similarly tying fruit to the branches of trees was intended to encourage the coming of Spring.
In Cork there was a tradition of bringing a hawthorn tree or Sceach into the house and putting it on the open fire. This then have off a great blaze and heat as you pushed it further in as it burned
Plum pudding was originally a soup made by boiling beef & mutton with dried plums (prunes), wines and spices. The prunes & meats were later removed, raisins added and the pudding was thickened with eggs & breadcrumbs to be more like a steamed or broiled cake. So “plum pudding” is not a pudding and contains no plums.
In the 17th century the word “plum” was commonly used to refer to any dried fruit. A “sugarplum” was any candied fruit (dried & sugared) — and could be a plum, apricot, cherry, etc. Prior to the age of chocolate children yearned for sugar plums, which is the Sugarplum Fairy was a prominent character in “The Nutcracker”.

Humble (or ‘umble) pie was made from the “humbles” of a deer — the heart, liver, brains and so forth. While the lords and ladies ate the choice cuts, the servants baked the humbles into a pie (which of course made them go further as a source of food). This appears to be the origin of the phrase, “to eat humble pie.” By the seventeenth century Humble Pie had become a trademark Christmas food, as evidenced when it was outlawed along with other Christmas traditions by Oliver Cromwell and the Puritan government.
The Turkey became the standard food in England a lot sooner than it did in Ireland, where Goose remained the favourite for some time after.
Turkey which doesn’t come from Turkey but from America.(the French thought it came from India and they call it Poulet d’Inde or Dinde)
It came to England first in the 17th Century and by Dickens time had taken over as the meat of choice for Christmas.Mr Scrooge in A Christmas Carol gives the Cratchets a Turkey when he finally sees sense.

In the early part of the last century we in Ireland were still eating Goose as witness this piece in The Dead in Dubliners by James Joyce.

Please note also what was going to be eaten at this party.
“
A fat brown goose lay at one end of the table, and at the other end, on a bed of creased paper strewn with sprigs of parsley, lay a great ham, stripped of its outer skin and peppered over with crust crumbs, a neat paper frill round its shin, and beside this was a round of spiced beef.
Between these rival ends ran parallel lines of side-dishes: two little minsters of jelly, red and yellow; a shallow dish full of blocks of blancmange and red jam, a large green leaf-shaped dish with a stalk-shaped handle, on which lay bunches of purple raisins and peeled almonds, a companion dish on which lay a solid rectangle of Smyrna figs, a dish of custard topped with grated nutmeg, a small bowl full of chocolates and sweets wrapped in gold and silver papers and a glass vase in which stood some tall celery stalks.
In the centre of the table there stood, as sentries to a fruit-stand which upheld a pyramid of oranges and American apples, two squat old-fashioned decanters of cut glass, one containing port and the other dark sherry. On the closed square piano a pudding in a huge yellow dish lay in waiting, and behind it were three squads of bottles of stout and ale and minerals drawn up according to the colours of their uniforms, the first two black, with brown and red labels, the third and smallest squad white, with transverse green sashes.
Gabriel took his seat boldly at the head of the table and, having looked to the edge of the carver, plunged his fork firmly into-the goose. He felt quite at ease now, for he was an expert carver and liked nothing better than to find himself at the head of a well-laden table.
`Miss Furlong, what shall I send you?’ he asked. `A wing or a slice of the breast?’
`Just a small slice of the breast.’
`Miss Higgins, what for you?’
`O, anything at all, Mr Conroy.’
While Gabriel and Miss Daly exchanged plates of goose and plates of ham and spiced beef, Lily went from guest to guest with a dish of hot floury potatoes wrapped in a white napkin. This was Mary Jane’s idea and she had also suggested apple sauce for the goose, but Aunt Kate had said that plain roast goose without any apple sauce had always been good enough for her and she hoped she might never eat worse. Mary Jane waited on her pupils and saw that they got the best slices, and Aunt Kate and Aunt Julia opened and carried across from the piano bottles of stout and ale for the gentlemen and bottles of minerals for the ladies. There was a great deal of confusion and laughter and noise, the noise of orders and counter-orders, of knives and forks, of corks and glass-stoppers. Gabriel began to carve second helpings as soon as he had finished the first round without serving himself. Everyone protested loudly, so that he compromised by taking a long draught of stout, for he had found the carving hot work. Mary Jane settled down quietly to her supper, but Aunt Kate and Aunt Julia were still toddling round the table, walking on each other’s heels, getting in each other’s way and giving each other unheeded orders. Mr Browne begged of them to sit down and eat their suppers and so did Gabriel, but they said there was time enough, so that, at last, Freddy Malins stood up and, capturing Aunt Kate, plumped her down on her chair amid general laughter.
When everyone had been well served Gabriel said, smiling:
`Now, if anyone wants a little more of what vulgar people call stuffing let him or her speak.’
A chorus of voices invited him to begin his own supper, and Lily came forward with three potatoes which she had reserved for him.
`Very well,’ said Gabriel amiably, as he took another preparatory draught, `kindly forget my existence, ladies and gentlemen, for a few minutes.’ “

As you can see the middle classes in turn of the century Dublin didn’t go short.
And please note that there were at least three ladies and one maid working on the preparations of this feast.

A personal story
Just after I started to cook professionally I decided to cook Christmas dinner for my wife’s family.

I didn’t imagine there would be any difficulty, I was after all used to feeding about 40 people every evening in Snaffles the restaurant I cooked in, in Dublin,
Sile’s family was only 8 or 9 people and they would all be eating the same thing.
It was only on the day itself that I realised just how much stuff I was going to have to produce from the very inadequate cooker in our flat in Dublin.
The Turkey, The Ham, The Spiced Beef (Sile’s father was from Cork)
The Soup to start, the Roast Potatoes, The Mashed Potatoes The Brussels Sprouts The Celery (and its white sauce) The gravy, The Bread sauce, The cranberry Jelly The Pudding from Sile’s Aunt which still needed 4 hours steaming
The Mince Tart, The brandy butter (for me) the whiskey sauce (for Sile’s family) and the Trifle (for those (most of us) who didn’t particularly like plum pudding.
After all that food there was only the Cheese and the Nuts to organise.

I will draw a veil over the day
Christmas dinner was several hours late.
This gets me to a resolution that the next time this happened it was not going to take me by surprise, preparation was the key.
I am glad to report that about 20 years after that and in Dwyers restaurant in Waterford I had Sile’s family to Christmas dinner again.
In the intervening years the family (due to marriages and kids coming) were now about 27 people.
I am glad to report that due to a lot of preparation and also the fact that I was producing the food from a commercial kitchen with several ovens, the meal passed this time without a hitch and on time.
This leads me to the nub of what today’s talk is about;

Surviving Christmas.
Here is a countdown:

Two weeks or more in advance;

Cake, Pudding,Mincemeat,Cranberry Sauce,Brandy Butter
Either buy in or make up these to have out of the way.

Day before
( with organised help)

Peel the potatoes and leave them to soak covered with cold water.

Prepare the vegetables and have ready to cook
( or cook the vegetables, they will reheat excellently in a microwave but do keep them in a cool place overnight, the one exception to this is roast potatoes which loose their crispness when microwaved)

Make up the stuffing and keep chilled

Boil up the ham ( allow 20 mts to the pound of very gentle simmering)
You can paint it with honey and mustard the following day and glaze and reheat it in the oven while the Turkey is resting.

The Turkey weight will include the giblets. If you are cooking it without stuffing either weigh it when cleaned out to calculate the cooking time or deduct 10% to account for loss of weight.

Stuffing

The stuffing weight should be added on to the cooking time. The stuffing can be made in advance and well chilled but don’t put into the bird until the day of cooking.( Alternatively some people recommend the stuffing should be cooked separately)

If you do stuff the turkey there is a certain element of risk so bear that in mind.

Stuffing up under the shin of the neck is a safe alternative.

On The Day
Cooking the Turkey

It is really worth while to let the Turkey rest for a half an hour or so after cooking and before carving, so calculate the cooking times accordingly.
Oven Temperature: 350 F 175C Gas 4.

Cook 15 to 20 mts. to the pound
(20 mts if it is a bird under 14 lbs. 15mts if it is over)
(I am often asked how do you weigh a large turkey, the answer is to step up on the bathroom scales with it in your arms)
but, as ovens differ, check to ensure it is cooked through before taking out of oven.
If the Turkey is not too big (or if you feel you are strong enough ) it can be helpful to put the Turkey breast side down for the first third of the cooking and then, very carefully, turning it breast side up for the remainder of the cooking, this way the breast remains moist but you still get a crispy skin.
To test if it is cooked through pierce into the thigh joint and look at the meat closest to the bone. If any trace of pink remains leave the bird cook longer.

While the Turkey is roasting parboil the potatoes, drain them and have them ready to roast

Resting the Turkey

When the Turkey is cooked cover it with tinfoil and then a clean tea towel and leave it to re-absorb its juices for about 45 mts. This also gives you time to raise the temperature in the oven to cook roast potatoes or the glaze the ham. The Turkey should remain hot enough, if not you can put it back in the oven for a few minutes.

Now pour all the fat and juices off the tin and rest in a jug for the gravy.
After a little while the fat will have risen to the top and can be spooned off-then it can be mixed with some flour (one tablespoon of each) to make the roux to stir onto the pan before you add the de-fatted juices to make the gravy.
While the Turkey is resting and the Ham and potatoes are roasting make your gravy in the turkey tin, reheat your vegetables in the microwave, reheat the bread sauce.
Put all the vegetables and sauces on the table as the turkey is carved and let them pass them around themselves.
Don’t attempt to do anything for desserts until you are finished the main course.
The rest period will give people some chance to regain some little bit of appetite for the pudding.
If you feel you have to steam the pudding do but I would have finished the puddings cooking the previous day and then either microwave to heat or-best of all- fry slices in unsalted butter.
Last thing is about lighting the pudding.
Be very careful please.
Bring the pudding out to the table first, heat a spoon over a flame. Pour in the whiskey or brandy. Spoon the hot spirit on the top hollow of the pudding, then light it with a very long taper.

Useful Christmas Recipes available on Martin Dwyers website;
www.martindwyer.com/m/recipes/
Desserts:

Pippin Tart
Cinnamon Ice Cream
Buche de Noel
Iced Christmas Pudding
Three Gingers Ice Cream
Mincemeat and Apple Baklava
Christmas Icecream Bombe
Christmas Mincemeat

Meat Main Courses:

Glazed Loin of bacon with Mustard, Honey and Orange Sauce
Christmas Spiced Beef

Poultry Mains:

Pheasant Breast with Mousseline Stuffing and Juniper Sauce
Chicken Scallop and Mushroom Pie
Breast of Turkey Stir fried with Almonds and Lemon
Spicey St Stephens Day Stir Fry

Miscellaneous:

Salted Almonds
Mulled Wine
Great Aunt Agnes’s Chicken Salad
Cranberry Sauce
Christmas Cake
Brandy Custard
Brandy Butter
Christmas Cake suitable for Diabetics
Hot Drinks for Christmas
Whiskey and Tea Brack
Cranberry and Peppertcorn Jelly
Christmas Mincemeat
Christmas Stuffing

Side Dishes

Spiced Potatoes
Grilled Garlic Potatoes
Brussel Sprouts with Garlic and Ginger
Crushed Parsnip with Orange and Ginger
Honey Roast Carrot and Celeriac

Soups

Mushroom and Tarragon Soup
Celeriac and Coriander Soup
Leek and Potato Soup
Curried Parsnip Soup

Starters

Rilettes of Smoked and Fresh Salmon
Marinaded Salmon with Melon and Ginger
Cranberry and Port Wine Sorbet

Vegetable Mains:

Winter Vegetable Spring Rolls
Gratin of Aubergines
Cous Cous of Roast Root Vegetables with Harissa
Ragout of Autumn Vegetables in a Cheese Gougere