My sister-in-law Una achieved a certain significant birthday recently.
To celebrate she had a party in Dobbins Restaurant last night.

As you may already have guessed the God Of Doggerel wasn’t going to leave this occasion unsung.

He struck again, here is the result;

Poem for Una

It is now near thirty seven years since I first met the lovely Una
She looked a treat from her twinkling feet to the turquoise of her guna.

Twas on Casla bay on an April day she arrived with her sister Sile
(And her cousin Winifred (with her friend,) and a bottle of Tequila.)

From Ivydene down to St Beauzille and from Reykjavik to Poona
You could never find a young one as fine as the sister-in-law Una

Well I fed them well, on that fatal day as has always been my habit
And I let them sip of the mountain dew, and on wild connemara rabbit

I was not to know that from that day forth (Twas a day at least she tarried)
That within a year and a sixmonth thence to her sister I’d be married.

From Ivydene down to St Beauzille and from Reykjavik to Poona
You could never find a young one as fine as the sister-in-law Una

Oh our wedding day she organised, making cakes and the bridesmaids dresses
And she kept us free of the small details and aloof from all the stresses

Oh she organised our wedding day, like an expert choreographer
And to keep things neat she finished off by marrying the photographer

From Ivydene down to St Beauzille and from Reykjavik to Poona
You could never find a young one as fine as the sister-in-law Una

For the first few years of our married life sure we all moved in together
Twas Ivydene in Ailsbury Park that kept us from the weather

We were a floating crowd in Ivydene, the population never static.
Sometimes Brian and Nick sometimes Clive and Sue with Doreen above in the attic.

From Ivydene down to St Beauzille and from Reykjavik to Poona
You could never find a young one as fine as the sister-in-law Una

But time moves on as we older got and the time arrived for partin’
So Una moved to Southampton town on the arm of another Martin

Oh Young Doctor Lyes came down from the skies and he swept her off her standing
He was young and blond and had a PhD but he loved her notwithstanding

From Ivydene down to St Beauzille and from Reykjavik to Poona
You could never find a young one as fine as the sister-in-law Una

And the years passed on as they surely will and we moved to our separate quarters
But we all remained the very best of friends (and kept busy producing daughters.)

And we headed down to the south of France, all 10 (once they quitted school,)
Searching for Sun, for food, for wine, and for barbecued food by the pool

From Ivydene down to St Beauzille and from Reykjavik to Poona
You could never find a young one as fine as the sister-in-law Una

But now the years are racing by I can’t believe just how old we are getting
Far we are now from the our growing pains, far from sin and from heavy petting

Then I look down on my sister in law, full of youth, full of life and hunger
Twould be hard to believe she’s the age she is , if I wasn’t five months younger.

From Ivydene down to St Beauzille and from Reykjavik to Poona
You could never find a young one as fine as the sister-in-law Una