Yesterday in the London Independent Janet Street-Porter wrote an article on how it was impossible to eat well in England, a sentiment, with which, I am rather inclined to agree.
There were various comments on her article (very few disagreeing with her) but the comment I enjoyed most came from someone called Broadwood and even though entirely irrelevant to Ms Street-Porter’s article I found it entertaining.
Broadwood wrote:
Last year I spent some time in Spain.
Many restaurants make a half hearted
attempt to translate their menus into English.
Here are some of the English translations:
Huevos Revueltos was translated as Eggs Revolting.
Then there were dishes such as :-
Fresh Crap of the Fisherman.
Muscle of the Fisherman.
Crabs of the Fisherman.
Breast of a Duchess on Toast.
Children in the Oven.
Boiled Baby in the Sauce of the Nuts.
Leg of a Cowboy.
Meat of a Cowboy.
Stuffed Nun.
Raped Carrots.
Ribbons of Little Hills.
Hot Vegetarian in Pot.
Dreaded Veal Cutlet.
Startled Chicken.
I have definitely been offered the Dreaded Veal Cutlet
and have on many occasions been forced to eat Fresh Crap from the Fisherman.
Raped Carrots. should, I imagine, go well with a dish of Buggered Peas . which I was offered in Barley Cove Hotel in the sixties but undoubtably my favourite must be the one that caused most anxiety to non-meat eaters;
Hot Vegetarian in a Pot.
Comments
padraic
on February 26, 2009I’ve sent these on to Martin before, but for the benefit of his readers I mention them again; a meal in the Hotel de Ville in Lyon in November 2003 included:
1. Sets the crusty ones of vegetables fried
2. Net of mullet to unilateral
3. Gravies to the hazel nut oil and févettes
4. Cream-coloured burned
I think Martin should offer a prize to him/her who writes out the original items in the source language.
Martin
on February 27, 2009Ok. 4. Is Creme Brulee, I have an idea of 1. but none of the others.
Any help out there?
There is a bottle of Picpoul (in France only) for the winner.
martine
on February 27, 2009Hello, I suspect that 2 would be, in french, if you excuse me :
Filet de mulet à l’unilatéral (means that you cook the fish only on one side).
1. Assortiment de croustillants de légumes
3. ‘Gravies’ remains a mystery… à l’huile de noisettes et aux petites fèves.
Shame on us and on the automatic translator (I am a translator myself -from spanish/catalan to french- not to english, dont worry).
Martin
on February 27, 2009Thanks Martine, I had guessed 1 but 2(the Mullet) is totally new to me.
Why would one cook on one side only?
I probably have a new gastronomic treat in store-or else a fish half raw half overcooked!
A glass of Picpoul is yours rather than a bottle.
Okay then what about the “Gravies…”
Another glass of chilled Picpoul on offer!
padraic
on February 27, 2009Martine is correct about the assortiments and also about the way of cooking the fish, except that it was a rouget rather than a mulet. “Gravies etc.” was “jus de viande a l’huile de noisette et févettes”
We should all meet in Thezan for a bottle of Picpoul!
Martin
on February 27, 2009C’est un rendez-vous !
martine
on February 27, 2009I should have guess that it was a rouget rather than a mulet (a fish that is more common in Lettermullen than in Lyon)… Ok pour le rendez-vous, et pour le vin… and we’ll cook some salmon ‘à l’unilatéral’. It’s a curious, but good way of cooking, crispy and mellow at the same time…
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