In the last two weeks I have been given distinct evidence of something that I have suspected for some time ; that the average French Doublavaysay or Toilette is getting smaller.
The first incident occured in a WC in a cafe in the city of Beziers which serviced a cafe of about 75 covers. As I squeezed into this miracle of minature bathroom planning I did notice that on my left hand side as I faced what is delicately known as the pan , there was an extremely adjacent and miniscule hand basin with a hand drier over it. As I proceeded about my business I became aware of a loud whooshing sound and a distinct (and initially not unfomfortable) feeling of extreme warmth on my left buttock. Despite many contortions (necessarily constrained by the business in hand) I was unable to switch it off. By the time I managed to complete my business the same buttock was distinctly warm and (I am sure ) pink.
You can ,I am sure, imagine my shock.
The second unprovoked toilet attack happened in Montpellier , about a week ago and in a similar sized cafe. As I checked out this minature marvel I noticed with some relief the lack of a hand air drier. Instead , perched over the compulsurary doll sized sink , this time on my right hand side, was a paper towel dispensing machine.
This time the attack was more unexpected, as I proceeded , the machine , activated by my right buttock , proceeded to disgorge its contents which then balanced delicately on my right buttock. This attack was even more difficult to recover from as I had to remain in the toilet for some time between flushes as I got rid of all the evidence.

I share these incidents with you just to act as a warning of the new and unjustified terrors which an unsuspecting gentleman of a certain age and stature can encounter in a boys room in France.