It was, as most of you probably know, this day last year when I had my last glass of wine.
I have been amazed at the amount of friends who have muttered to me that they would love to try it out.
For this reason (or to explain the unlikely scenario of me being sober) I offer you all my own personal 10 point plan for becoming alcohol free.

10 Crutches to help to give up alcohol:

1.Drink fancy, when every one is tucking into a G&T decide on your own cocktail and drink it from a special glass. Make the drink with all the ceremony you can. Tonic water with ice is a good start and non-alcohol beer another. Avoid drinks like Coke or sweet sodas, the sugar makes you feel ill after a bit.

2. Have lots of good coffee handy and have a system that will produce a single cup for you, have this in place of the drink, caffeine has a wee buzz too.

3. If, like me, you always guzzled wine with meals you are going to need a substitute. Non- alcohol wine (unlike non-alcoholic beer) is a bit of a disaster but I find apple juice and white grape juice good especially if diluted with sparkling water. At the end of the meal have a strong coffee.

4. You will have some money which you would have spent on alcohol to spare ( so long as you don’t go ape shit on fruit juices)- use this for a specific treat- to feed one of your hobbies (I buy antiques.)Or stash it like the Mitfords to have a a running away fund or use it to buy unsuitable clothes – not using it to buy alcohol means it is yours to fritter as you want.

5. If you are thinking about giving up but are not sure, do what I did and give it up for a month ( I did November for about 12 years) You will have the first of the next month to look forward too and if it wasn’t TOO hard you can always stretch it.

6. If you are the kind of person who can really stop after two or three and never make an asshole of yourself then, fair dues to you, you really don’t need to give it up. I always fooled myself that I was, but the truth was that after two or three I no longer cared.

7.Go out to fancy restaurants for dinner instead of the pub- go on, you can afford it now, especially when you are not buying wine a fancy restaurant prices.

8. Tell everyone, and talk freely and honestly about quitting. People will close up like clams when you refuse the wine and drink water and assume you are hanging for a drink. Reassure them.

9. If you can use it as an aid to lose weight, giving up alcohol means you are half ways there anyway so the extra shove is not a push too far- and anyway you will have lost the ambition to lash into the fridge late at night- after a feed of pints- when you will have over indulged only on sparkling water.

10. Congratulate yourself constantly on succeeding in giving it up and when some kind friend says “Aren’t you a great man now”
Agree with them, because I am telling you,
you are.